Casual Indifference

On today’s episode of Confessions of a Top Producing Real Estate Agent. I want to introduce you to a term, really a mindset, that one of our students coined called Casual Indifference. I asked her to join me on the episode today to explain what Casual Indifference is and how you can apply it to your real estate business.  Welcome to this episode of Confessions of a Top Producing Real Estate Agent. I’m your host, Jennifer Myers, listen in, as I share exactly what I did to go from not being able to sell a house for years to become one of the top 1% of agents in the US even opening my own brokerage full of agents helped me serve all the clients that were coming my way. I taught those agents the same strategies I used to become a top producing agent. Now through this podcast and AgentGradSchool.com, I’m sharing those same modern marketing and business strategies with you. Most of which I learned from looking outside the real estate industry, no fluff, no theory, no outdated sales techniques, or paying for leads. Just the exact steps to get you the real estate business you’ve always wanted. And the life outside your business, you’ve always wanted to let’s make it happen and dive into today’s episode. One of our students inside agent grad school named Reagan thought of this term called Casual Indifference. And she was explaining it to me and how she applies it to her real estate business. And I said, number one, this is brilliant. Number two, you should trademark this. And number three, will you talk about it on the podcast? So here she is today to explain what Casual Indifference is and how to apply it to your real estate business. Welcome, Reagan. Thank you so much for being here. So the reason I asked you to come on today because it’s your dream to be on a podcast. So dream making your dreams come true. And it’s also because you have so much, like, I always feel like you dropped these knowledge bombs in our classes, and I’m like, of course, you can come on the podcast because you’re going to drop knowledge bombs to people beyond our students. So specifically today, we’re talking about this term that you coined in a class recently, and it’s called where you introduce us Casual Indifference. Okay. Tell us what that is, how you even like thought of it, and like how we, as agents could use that in our business. So Casual Indifference to me, it’s kind of like, if you were to think of dating, right? Nobody wants to be the needy person. Who’s hounding, you know, somebody who’s a potential suitor, right. And the people I think that are the most interesting are the ones that are casually indifferent. Like, Hey, it’s great to go out with you. It’s really nice seeing you. And if you call me again, awesome, if not, that’s fine because I’ve got plenty of other people that I’m happy to talk to. And I think that something in sales that you know is really important because that’s the one thing, nobody, nobody wants a needy real estate agent. Who’s desperate And your people can feel it, your friends or family or clients, like whatever leads you, drip with it. If it’s, And it’s like, oh God, this poor person like there just needs something so bad and everybody just backs away from it. But when you come to the situation as a, you know, and this is an in term of real estate, but I think, you know, first of all, you come to the situation with enough knowledge about the process or enough competence in yourself that you’re able to go, okay, you don’t have to like me. It’s okay. You don’t have to work with me. There’s plenty of other agents out there who might be right for you. And I’m okay with that. And that’s Casual Indifference And there’s plenty of other clients out there that I could work with. Right, Exactly. Right. I mean, I have a pretty strong personality as you know, so I like to talk and I may be a little too much for some people and that’s okay. But years ago when I was a new agent, I was so mortified that, you know, people would not think I knew what I was doing. And so I was constantly just second guessing myself and always wondering like, oh, did I say the right thing? Or do they do the right thing? Or are they not working with me? Because I somehow wasn’t smart enough. Good enough. Right. And over the years of just becoming who I am and being successful in real estate, I finally realized that like, you know what, not everybody is going to work with you. That’s okay. Because there’s plenty of other people out there who will, and you want to work with the people who want to work with you because it’s going to make the transaction a lot easier for you versus trying to force a relationship with somebody that just isn’t quite right. And I know we’ve all had relationships like that, you know, especially in business where it’s like, you’re kind of butting heads and the client doesn’t really quite understand you and you don’t really understand your client. And it just feels like a struggle the whole time. It shouldn’t feel like that it should feel fun and engaging and exciting. And yes, there are challenges for sure. But you know, when you’re casually indifferent or have Casual Indifference, you’re not going to be so concerned about the people who decide not to work With you and not make it mean anything about you. Yeah. It’s Something personal. I mean, maybe it is, but I don’t take it personally. Right. Well, you can’t. So what’s interesting about what you’re saying is I feel like in order to be casually indifferent, like both then dating, I always say like buying a house, being a real estate agent is like dating. And you have to like court your clients for people. Like, don’t expect them to like, want to get married, AK be your age, the first time you meet them. Right? Like, so I think this whole parallel between dating and building a successful business and the fact that you need Casual Indifference, the name that you . So, you know, Casual Indifference means that really coming from a place of abundance, which I know is like a catchphrase, but really what that means is like coming from a place of like this or something better, or, you know, it’s not about me. If you don’t want to work with me, or if you, you know, quote-unquote reject me that there’s more where that came from. And there’s a pile of people out in the world that would not want to work with me. I can always like, hear what people are thinking. They’re like, how do I have Casual Indifference? How do I have, if I’m desperate and I need a client? Yeah. And you cultivate that, taking a deep breath because nobody makes any good decisions when they’re based in the panic period. End of sentence. I mean, you know, and I’ll say this to everybody, who’s listening. I go into panic mode, every single fall because in my market, which in a lot of markets, it slows down, right? I mean, it’s like January, it starts to ramp up. It’s busy from like March through August. And then people have gotten their kids in school. And they’re not thinking about this. They’re looking towards the holidays and it’s pretty slowed. September, October, November, and December. And every year I freak out, I’m like, what’s going to happen. And this year I’m like, it’s okay. Just take a step back, take a deep breath. It’s going to be fine because you can’t make any good decisions when you’re spinning around a fridge. You’re never gonna make money again. And I’m sorry, but every single agent has been through that. And a big tell you, they haven’t, they’re lying to you Or they’re buying leads or They’re buying leads. I mean, right. Like you’re either going to get people to work with you by paying for it or doing the work to get it. You know, it’s either money or time and neither one of them are easy, but the difference comes up when, you know, first off you need to take a deep breath and not panic. But second of all, if you’re a brand new agent, right, and you’ve gone into a brokerage and you know, I know you talk about this. The first thing that you should do is find an agent who is successful. Who’s willing to talk to you and let you shadow them. You know, like I’m happy to let people shadow me and see what I do because the more better agents that are out there, the better this industry is. So, you know, to me, it goes back to that abundance. Nobody’s going to take business away from me. There’s plenty of business out there for everybody. So you need to be in that mindset of there’s plenty out there. Not one person can sell all the houses out there. There’s plenty of business as plenty for everyone. That’s the whole law of abundance. And when you come from that mentality and that thought of, well, there’s plenty of business out there, then you don’t panic because it’s not a finite thing. It’s not like, okay, there’s only 10 houses to sell and there’s 30 agents, but If you’re casually indifferent, and I think that also takes some confidence about who you are and who your most like aligned to help with Casual Indifference, you can also kind of be like, okay, well, if it’s a luxury property, if it’s a $2 million property, in my case, that’s probably not for me. So I’m not going to go, you know, down a rabbit hole of shame. If I didn’t get that listing. Cause I’m not the best-suited person to do that. Right. So it’s really like knowing your lane. I think that’s another thing about building confidence and having abundance and kind of this Casual Indifference. It’s like, know your lane, don’t worry about what everybody else is doing or what’s happening. It’s just Like, keep your eyes on your own mat. I heard a yoga teacher tell me that once, like, keep your eyes on your own mat. Don’t worry about what everyone else is doing. And I was like, oh, that’s so brilliant because it is so easy to look at other people and go, oh my gosh, like they sold 30 houses this year. Like, they’re so amazing. Okay, let’s wait for them. You can do that too. You know, you just have to figure out what you want to do it. And I think one of the things that I’ve learned over the years is, and this just might be me, but maybe you felt this too, but it’s kind of like wherever you are in life, that’s where you’re the most comfortable. Right? So like when you’re a first-time home buyer and you’re, let’s just say your first time home is like a $250,000 house and that’s what your friends are mine. Well, that’s where you’re going to feel comfortable. Right? Like selling, you know, that and lower. And then, you know, as you get older or you move up, then you’re like, oh, okay, well, my friends are buying $600,000, you know? So I remember when I first started, this is going back 15 years, but I was living in a, you know, $150,000 house at the time. And I was like $600,000 house. I wouldn’t even know how to sell that because in my mind, I didn’t have the knowledge because I wasn’t comfortable in that price. That wasn’t my people. Right. I mean, it’s no big deal because again, like now that’s my level of comfortability and that’s where my business is. And that’s okay. Maybe you are completely comfortable coming out of the gate, you know, selling 800, $900,000 properties. And maybe that’s what your market is. I mean, if you’re out in LA or something, I mean, you can’t find them for $250,000. Right. $800,000 is probably like the bottom of the barrel out there. But you know, just be comfortable with where you’re at because that’s where you’re going to have. The most confidence is where you’re comfortable. So it’s when you start stepping outside of yourself, which you absolutely should do, but you’re going to have to understand that being casually, indifferent when you’re uncomfortable is pretty impossible to do you need to have some kind of likeability to understand the mentality of the situation. Right? Totally. Yeah. And I think another example of Casual Indifference is also, or another trait of being casually. Indifferent is also being focused on what’s best for my client instead of what’s best for me, 100%. They said something last time you and I talked and I wrote it down and I quoted myself cause I was like, oh my gosh, that was really smart. And it was like, nobody wants to be responsible for your livelihood when it comes to me. Right. So, you know, like if I’m buying a house, I shouldn’t be worried about your paycheck. Like Right. I shouldn’t be worried about your time, time have taken. If you’re focused on always what’s best for the client, you can be, that’s how you earn competence. And that’s the, the right to be casually indifferent because perfect example, especially this time of year, as of the recording, we’re in the fall. And again, like Reagan said, it’s like this moment where it’s like not the best time to solve necessarily because you don’t have a lot of buyers out there. If you’re in a suburban market, suburban markets tend to be very school, counter driven and not to say that you can’t sell a house in the fall. But for me, at least if you’re in the suburbs and your clients could wait to spring, right. Then an example of being casually, indifferent is saying, Hey, listen, we could get your house sold and it would be fine. But if you don’t have like a time constraint, you probably are going to have better results in spring. Right. You’re going to have more, you can get a higher price. Yeah. And so being casually, indifferent means I’m not desperate. I’m not being like, yeah, let’s go let’s now because it’s might not be in the best interest of my clients. Now that is not the case. Every time different is saying like, Hey, here’s the pros, here’s the con, here’s the options. Which do you want to choose clients and not feeling nervous by the fact that they say they’re going to wait until spring. I can hear agents saying, well, they’re going to find a new agent and how do I know it’s going to be me and all that stuff. That is an example of being casually indifferent. Because if we were the one who was saying to them, why don’t we wait until the spring? And here’s all the things we’re going to do to be casually indifferent them choosing the spring is fine. Correct. And you also need to, you know, make sure that you’re consistently keeping in touch with them until the spring with, Hey, I just wanted to check-in and see how things are going. I know we mentioned, you know, I’ve given you some workers, have you been able to contact them or Hey, Merry Christmas, here’s a cookie. I don’t, you know, whatever it is you do, you know, you can’t just like, not call them anymore until April. Because at that point they are going to find somebody else. Cause they’re going to think you dropped them. There’s plenty of people that I’ve talked to that I’m just like, you’re not ready yet. You know? Like, let’s take a step back because we’re putting the cart before the horse here and you might be one or two years out and that’s fine because that’s, what’s best for them. You have to always put your client first. And I know sometimes it gets difficult, especially with new agents because you know, you’ve got a lot of noise out there that are telling you, like, go get the listing and go, you know, be aggressive. Yeah. Now, now, now, now, and it’s the time and you have to get it and there’s all this stuff. And I feel like that kind of gets in the way of learning because you get so inundated with all this noise about what people and I’m doing air quotes in the industry are doing, and you don’t know that it’s actually working for them and you don’t know that it’s necessarily true. So you just kind of need to, don’t worry about that again. It goes back to like, just focus on what you need to get done. I mean, you know, Casual Indifference. I mean, I can be casually indifferent with my kids. Well, that’s another perfect example of where you can apply Casual, different, not just the dating, but like, think about like when your kids throw a tantrum or your kids are like, you know, pressing the boundaries For me, It’s like, you don’t go into the drama with them. And you’re just like, here’s, what’s happening. I’ll talk to you later when you calm down, It does because guess what they showed up and they show back up and they’re like, Hey, Whatever it is, they were throwing. It’s Andrew about Casual Indifference. You cannot fake Because it’ll come off as arrogant and it’ll come up and it’ll burn you, you know, like Casual Indifference. I mean, it kind of sounds like you’re trying to blow people off and that’s not It at all. It’s literally just saying, Hey, I might be the right person for you. And if I’m not that’s okay. I mean, Jen, I know there’s no way in life that you have not had because this happens too. In the course of your career, you will have clients who inevitably will put their house on the market with somebody else. And it hurts. It’s painful and it stinks. And it happened. And you’re like, what have, and you literally will sit there and you’ll want to cry. And you have to be casually indifferent about it because you don’t know what their situation was. You may have thought everything went fine and things didn’t and they never told you in, you know, they don’t like confrontation. So, you know, whatever. But if you get stuck in that, oh my gosh, these people never use me again. Well, then you’re like literally going down this rabbit hole of being just negativity. And then that’s a whole different avenue of, you know, I mean, that’s a mindset issue, but again, if you know, when you’re like casually indifferent, it’s like, okay, moving on Another marker of being casually, indifferent and how, you know, whether you’re faking it or not. Because if you’re faking it, it’s not going to work because they still feel that. Right. Cause it’s like some other like, you know, going on dates or something. And you’re like, yeah, I have all this people know like you’re lying. Like you don’t have all this because you’re texting me all the time. Right? Like, you know, if you can be, or you’ve cultivated the skill of being Casual Indifference, I think it was really knowing your value and feeling valuable and value does not come from the outside in, it comes from the inside out. Right. And also what that allows you to do, especially as a salesperson is understand the difference between providing value to people and selling people. Right? Totally completely energies. You cannot be casually a different if you’re trying to sell no, but you can be casually indifferent if you’re focused on helping other people and providing value to them because how you be casually different as you say, like, okay, here’s your options you could sell. Now you can sell this spring. Here’s most likely what’s going to happening to sell. Now, here’s the most likely what’s going to happen if you sell this spring and leave it up to them about the choice and then that’s it Casual Indifference. And so how do you create value? How do you know what your value is as an agent? If you don’t know what it is? I think that’s a big question For me personally, educating my clients is my most important thing, right? Like that’s my number one because I don’t care. If you are a first time home buyer or you bought and sold several times, you may not have bought and sold in 10 years. Do you have any idea how much the industry has changed between 2010? And now, I mean, you know, like did Zillow exist in 2010? I don’t even think so. 10 years from now is going to be completely different. So you still have to educate people regardless of whether or not you think that they’re educated or smart or whatever, they don’t do this every day. We do. First of all, you need to know your contracts. That’s the biggest thing of, you know, your contracts that will really, really, really help you in feeling confident. Because when you go through that with somebody and you educate them on that, then I feel like it gives you confidence of, oh, I actually do know something, right? Like explaining, you know, like the timelines and all that kind of stuff. But also, you know, I think for me, every buyer that I made has a buyer consultation. And if they don’t want to have one, then we don’t work together. Period. End of sentence. That’s my Casual Indifference. If you can spend 30 to 45 minutes with me to talk about, then I’m not going to waste my time on you. I mean, that’s just period. End of sentence. You might find another agent who will, okay, great. That’s fine. It’s not going to be me. And that is because quite frankly, I know that if they are not educated, then it’s going to be a nightmare. Yeah. For both of you, for you, for them. And they’re going to make a mistake. I love that. Yeah. And you know, this very few agents do buyer consultations. I’m always shocked at how few agents do them. And so I know that it sets me apart. So that gives me confidence. Right. So perfect Example. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Totally. So it’s like, okay, great. Like you want to go use another agent? That’s fine. If you find somebody who’s just going to open doors for you, you have at it. Yeah. You still have to provide value. So you still have to give them a reason to want to meet with you and their tool war. Then you become casually indifferent, so you don’t just be like, meet with me or you’re out. Right. People who are hearing this, who don’t quite know like what, you know, at this point, you know, like I want people to get that. Like, it’s not like you set the, and people either get in line or get out. If that’s not at all, what we’re saying is create a value proposition that is so irresistible and so magnetic and that people want to follow in line. And if they don’t, then you say like, I’ve really done everything I can. I know this is for your best. If you don’t want it. That’s okay. Right now, I feel like I use Casual Indifference, like every day with like students, for example, right. It’s like, here’s my value proposition to you. Right? Right. Here’s what we offer an agent grad school. It is not for everybody, either you’re in and you’re into it. And you want to like do this way of real estate or you’re not. Yeah. There’s other programs. They can go out and do that. They’ll probably put the same amount of work into it that they would’ve put into yours, which is nothing. So it’s irrelevant, you know, like that’s the thing is anything that you do, if you don’t do anything with it, it’s kind of pointless. I mean, you could buy a million different things and not learn a thing. Right. Just spend money, on emails. Like that seems like a waste of money to me, but whatever, that’s my thing. But I have a very, very deep understanding of the market. I started because I’ve lived here my entire life. Right. And I’ve got kids in different schools. And so I know a lot about my market, which in my mind does set me apart. But also the way I come to the situation is with, you know, just talking about here’s the steps that need to happen. Here’s, you know, like sitting down and meeting with people, whether they’re a seller, whether they’re a buyer and explaining the market, explaining everything to them in a way that they understand, not just like these top line numbers and charts and graphs. Right. Because that gets boring, but like putting it into context, you know? Cause like one of the things that I talk about when I’m listing a property is, you know, the souls and the actives. I mean, you know, you need to look at the pendings and all that stuff, but also like, you need to look if you’re going on the market in six months, I mean, looking at actors right now are Irrelevant. Not Helpful. Yeah. So I mean like I’m not going to sit there and waste somebody’s time with a bunch of comparables. It’s like, okay, well we’ll talk about this in six months. Here’s what I bring to the table. Here’s my marketing. Here’s what I’m going to do. Here’s who I am. Here’s why you should choose me. And when you make the decision in six months, we’ll come back and talk about price. Because if somebody is going to argue with you about how they’re going to price their house, then in Six Months, you probably don’t want to work with that person because it’s not going to be easy for you to tell them that their house is not quite worth what they think it’s worth. And that does happen. And then there are agents who will take that listing and then they will not be able to sell it. Right. Right. So what I really want people to take away is that Casual Indifference is not arrogant. It’s not like being in or out. It’s about being confident in your own value proposition, cultivating a value proposition, thinking what is best for my clients. Being able to communicate that and then leaving the decision completely up to them and being okay with whatever happens next. It’s powerful. So powerful. It’s magnetic. Yeah. I need to get this trademarked. But yeah. I mean, that’s basically being able is really being able to understand that the world is abundant because that’s an, you know, like we could have a whole other conversation about mindset, but you’ve got to come at everything with an idea of abundance because the minute you miss that, it’s over. Because if you come from a place of like scarcity and lack and you think that there’s never going to be something around the corner, that’s going to happen because you know what, you focus on expands. So you’re not trying to be Woohoo, but it’s just the fact. Right? So, and then you can’t be casually in different Because you may never make any more money because there’s only 10 houses to sell. Right? Like the There’s so many like everywhere you look, there’s all those everywhere. All of them are potential clients. And one of them is a potential client. Everybody’s gonna move at some point, you know, making sure that they know who you are. That’s the biggest thing. I think when you start out is the fear of how am I going to go up against agents who everybody knows, because they’re on billboards or bus stops or, you know, like whatever. And I will tell you that having worked in my area, you know, like, just because somebody has got a ton of experience, doesn’t mean they’re a good agent. Well, and also just because their marketing is everywhere, I have had, it happened so many times when people are like, I don’t want to use the guy or the gal on the bus. They don’t want that. They want somebody who looks in their eyes and like ALK them of their marketing, regardless of the fact that they’re everywhere. They just want to be like, can you do what I need you to do for me? Right. And will I enjoy the process? I think let’s end with how you came up with this idea of Casual Indifference, because I think this is a great story where there’s inspiration. Like you got inspiration from the counting crows concert. Right, right. But you also got this idea, like inspiration and ideas that you can implement into your real estate businesses are everywhere. So tell us how, like started thinking of this term and like a clients who real estate businesses. I think this is such a great story. Like it being a real thing, Right? It is a real thing. I am a huge crush on Jason Bateman. Like I just have, since I was like nine, so I’m just a total fan girl, but you know, he’s got this podcast with like Willer net and Sean Hayes. It’s called smart lists. So I’m doing a blip for them. You’re welcome. Maybe they’ll call me so I would die. But so, you know, Jason Bateman was kind of joking around about acting and saying something about like, yeah. You know, I finally got to the point where I just had sexy indifference about whether or not I got a role. And that’s when I started realizing, you know, like I started getting roles when I acted like, you know, not that I didn’t care, but like, it’s fine if I didn’t get it. And I thought, oh, that’s it like, that’s the same thing as in real estate. Right? Like nobody wants desperation. You can smell it. You can feel it, it has its own energy. And everybody knows that energy is, and you just know it. And I thought, gosh, you know what? That’s so true. Like I changed to Casual versus sexy because I don’t know, you know, sexy and difference that does have a little bit more like a dating term. But I think, but I think that was it. It was like listening to him going. Yeah. I mean like that’s like with anything in life, right? Like if you want something really badly and it’s so apparent that you want it, that it makes you needy, nobody likes needy. Nobody likes needy. And so if you’re confident that like, Hey, if you’re an actor and you gave a great, like a role, whatever, I dunno, like, and you’re not scared of death, you’re not gonna have another job again that you’re going to eat. Right. It’s a lot easier to hire that person, the person who is just like, oh, I don’t think I’m going to be able to eat ever again. Like I’m never, ever gonna have another job. I mean, real estate agents can’t like that and I’ve seen it and it’s sad. It’s okay to feel that way. There’s nothing wrong with feeling it it’s okay. Because I feel that way too. Just don’t let your clients know that And just don’t let it like tear you apart to where you’re like not good at Jason Bateman’s case. Right. Sexy indifference. It’s like, I’m sexy. I got it. If I don’t get this role, I’m going to do another one. I brought another one, you know, I’ve got other avenues of income. Right. I mean, I’m sure they’re making quite a bit of money off that podcast. Yeah, exactly. It’s hilarious. So these are the kind of truth bombs that I feel like you will always drop whenever you come into a class, you’re like, I feel like this. And I’m like, yeah, that’s the smartest thing I’ve ever heard. So thank you for sharing. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us on classes and here on the podcast, go out there agents and be casually or sexy and different whenever you want, but know your own value and be indifferent about the choices people make and keep going. That’s what sexy and differences. That’s what Casual Indifference is. Thank you, Reagan for marking this term and letting us all know about it. Thank You for having me on. I’m just so excited to be here. Thanks again, Reagan, for being on this episode and sharing the mindset that you kind of figured out called Casual Indifference and how we can apply it to our real estate business. Thank you for being an agent grad school student and being such an inspiration to both myself and your fellow students inside agent grad school and here on the podcast. If you’re an agent listening to this and you have a client moving to the Cincinnati Ohio area, please feel free to refer them to Reagan. She is a great agent and can help them in Cincinnati. You can find more about her at www.dwellincincinnati.com. Thank You for listening to this episode of Confessions of a Top Producing Real Estate Agent. We purposely keep those podcasts sponsor and commercial-free. So we can focus solely on providing real estate agents with the content that will help them grow their real estate business. And how about life? They love out five of business too, but we need your help to get this podcast in the hands of other real estate agents. So please, if you liked this episode, leave a review on iTunes or wherever you’re listening, and also tell your agent friends to listen in to thank you so much for supporting the show for being a listener and supporting other agents along your way to success. That’s what this is all about. See you next time. On another episode of Confessions of a Top Producing Real Estate Agent. And until then, Tom, hang with me over at www.agentgradschool.com. I’ll see you there.