How To Deal With Difficult Clients

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I'm Jennifer Myers, Founder of Agent Grad School and host of Confessions of a Top Producing Real Estate Agent, The Agent Grad School Podcast.  My goal for each episode is to give you actionable steps you can implement today to grow your real estate business.

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We all deal with difficult clients sometimes.  

It can be a frustrating experience and even sometimes make us rethink whether being a real estate agent is something we want to continue to do.

Here’s something to keep in mind when you run into a difficult client:

Difficult clients can be one of our biggest growth opportunities.


They allow us to hone our skills in one of the following ways:

1.) An opportunity to become a better communicator

2.) An opportunity to solve problems in new ways

3.) An opportunity to create better systems and processes in our business

4.) An opportunity to become even more an expert in our market

Some difficult clients allow us to find new ways to help our clients reach their goals and become even better real estate agents.

While others don’t value our expertise or don’t really want our help. They can be combative and a person you dread seeing every week. We work way too much to spend hours in a car every weekend with people like that.

So, how can you know the difference between a client who needs your help, maybe just in a new way or if they are a client that just isn’t a good fit and needs to be let go?

Listen in to today’s episode and learn:

  • How to identify whether you have a difficult client who needs to be let go or just needs some creative problem solving
  • If you are dealing with a client you no longer want to work with, how to gracefully let them go and maybe even get a referral fee
  • How to help clients who are just stuck and need your help in a new way
  • Examples of what to say and when to say it
  • And much more!

Links mentioned in this episode:

Paradox of Choice–Agent Grad School Summer Book Club discussion

How To Help Your Clients Be In Alignment (The Three Bucket Strategy)

Book about endings: Necessary Endings By Dr. Henry Cloud

To your success,


Episode Transcript

On today’s episode, how to deal with difficult clients and when to know when it’s time to let them go. Welcome to this episode Of Confessions of a Top Producing Real Estate Agent. I’m your host, Jennifer Myers. Listen in as I share exactly what I did to go from not being able to sell a house for years to becoming one of the top 1% of agents in the US, even opening my own brokerage full of agents helped me serve all the clients that were coming my way. I taught those agents the same strategies I used to become a top producing agent. Now for this podcast and AgentGrad, I’m sharing those same modern marketing and business strategies with you. Most of which I learned from looking outside of the real estate industry, no fluff, no theory, no outdated sales techniques or paying for leads, just the exact steps to get you the real estate business you’ve always wanted. And the life outside your business, you’ve always wanted to let’s make it happen and dive into today’s episode. Welcome to today’s episode. Thank you so much for listening and for being here. Today’s episode is all about how to know who was a difficult client and maybe who just needed your help, how to tell the difference and what to do with both types of clients. And today’s freebie is what I call the Difficult client opportunity worksheet. You’re going to learn that when you feel like you were dealing with a difficult client, you’re going to instead stop, drop and download this freebie and work through what opportunity or are they giving you to become a better agent. And so I’ll illustrate what that, what I mean by that. And of course, later in the episode, I have Amy here. She is going to, I think the best way to illustrate this is with an exact situation of saying, like, I almost gave up on this client. And instead I looked at it as an opportunity to help them and kind of what happened from there. So, so often I hear from agents complain about clients and how their clients are frustrating. Them for one reason or another. And they don’t know what to do. Like the client’s don’t know what they want and they’re taking up all their time. But whenever I hear an agent complain about this, I see this as a, as an opportunity, a wonderful opportunity for agents to provide value to their clients. These clients actually need us. They need a real estate agent’s health, and it gives us an opportunity to add value and gives us a reason, frankly, to have a job because every client out there, it wasn’t a quote unquote Difficult and they were able to wake up, decide what home to buy and do it without any difficulty. Then frankly, we wouldn’t have a job. We wouldn’t have a job as being real estate agents. So any time that you feel frustrated by somebody, I first want you to ask yourself, what is the opportunity here for me to actually help them get around this roadblock? Like they’ve said, they wanted to buy or sell a house and something isn’t working. Can you identify what that thing is? And can you remove that obstacle for them? And that’s actually what I see our job as real estate agents as, so the first thing though, is there are some actual clients that are difficult, like, and how do you know the difference? How do you know the ones that are kind of, and I hate it’s an aggressive word, but I’m going to use the word kind of like abusive with your time or abusive with you, or don’t think highly of agents. Right? And how do you know when it’s that type of person, or if it’s somebody who is just as frustrated as you are about their search or about their home sale. So in this episode, we’re going to identify which ones are difficult, clients that need your help and perhaps a new way, and how do identify what they need from you and which are the other ones. Maybe that you need to have a conversation when you need to let them go and how to have that conversation that is graceful because of what you also don’t want to be is that agent who like continues to be frustrated and working with somebody and everybody’s miserable, buy the settlement table. And you also don’t want to be that agent, that type of agent is somebody who’s just looking at the transaction. And if you’re listening to this podcast, do you know, that’s not the type of agent that we want to help. It’s not the kind of agent we want to help train here at Asian crowd. School we really want to be agents that add value to our, our client’s lives and help them move forward in a positive way. So we’ll talk about how to have the conversation, to let somebody go so that it actually can turn things around when you’re ready to let them go. And you are not so holding on so tight, right? It can actually turn it around. And if it doesn’t, you can, even, in some examples, I’ll give you a, get a referral fee and I’ll show you how to do that in a way that really leaves the situation feeling a lot better rather than kind of going up in flames. So I think the best way to illustrate this is through a, a recent client story. And so Amy Amy’s here, I know you recently called MI kind of frustrated about a client and why don’t we talk about first kind of what happened to get you to a point that’s frustrating. And by the way, if you’re listening to this and your client and you think we are describing you, it chances are, it’s not you because so often the story we’re about to tell is like almost every single client. And the reason I say this is because I want people, I want real estate agents to get that like our jobs to solve problems. And our job is to help clients through certain obstacles. And so the story we’re about to tell may sound like you, if you’re a client listening, but chances are, it’s like, we just see this so often that it’s probably you and 10 other people, but I think it illustrates the opportunity that we see in it versus a level of frustration. So Amy, think about one of the recent stories where you called me and you said like, I’m really stuck with this client and kind of paint the picture because I think that will help with the first step of, is this person somebody that can actually, I can actually help, or is this a conversation that I have to have? That’s like, we’re not a good fit. You need to go somewhere else and how to have that conversation. So let’s start there because that’s a first step. Who are we talking about? Somebody who we can help. And I just can’t see the opportunity yet, or do I need to let this person go right? And that’s, it, It really is a tough, you know, as an agent, whether you’re starting new or in the middle or experienced, I think it’s, it’s something that we all struggle with a little bit, but there is two categories, you know, the person that the people and people that we can help and the people that we probably can’t help. And it doesn’t mean we can’t help them because we’re not good agents or they’re not good clients. Sometimes it’s not the right fit. And it’s, I think, I guess we can start with that one because I think that sometimes I know myself wanting to, you know, help a client. I didn’t always end up helping them. And I think it sometimes because I try to have the answers I didn’t quite have. Right. And sometimes it’s good to know what answers you have and you can help people with, and then like you were talking about, refer them out to someone else and, or know that in your heart of heart, you know, intuitively you know, the longer you do it, the more you’re like, I just don’t think we’re the right fit for whatever reason, you know? Like there’s sometimes an energy there and And, or you’ve had experience with a client similarly that it didn’t turn out so well, you know, I think that, yeah, and then there are the clients that we can help, but I think the instinct as human beings and myself is when things get tough. Yeah. Hold on. Tighter. Hold on, hold on. Tighter are just pull away. Do you know, there’s like these two, it’s like these two categories in like, I, or I’m gonna fit you in here and you’re going to like figure this out cause I’m right, right. And you just don’t see it eventually you will or get angry. You know, I, you know, I’ve told you this, you are not let you know, there are things that we were talking about this like bad relationship that you stay in, right. For the sake of saying in it, or ’cause you don’t know what to do, or you don’t know How. And I think, you know what, we’re talking about a client that I had, Clients who I liked a lot great people. And we had a really good, you know, the initial consultation that a very strong point of view on what they were looking for, what they wanted, what their criteria was. They were excellent financially. Excellent. All their, everything was in a, in the ducts, in a row. Right. Great people. They were referred to me from someone and they did have a very strong point of view of what they wanted. We then started going down different roads and exploring different options that I could see were not what they had told me that they wanted. So Number one is having complete clarity on what your clients want and whether it’s possible. Right. And so one reason I feel like Clients get off the rails is because they think what they want isn’t possible, or they don’t have clarity about what it is that they actually want in a home and how that’s going to create a lifestyle. So we, can you talk a little bit more about how you knew when they were going in the wrong direction? Yeah, we can. I mean, we have had a great initial consultation and they have been really clear about three priorities that they were unwilling to change very clear about that, which was great for me. You know, that was great. I was, I was so pleased that they had a lot of awareness about who they are, what lifestyle they wanted to live, you know, things that were important to them and buying a home, all these things that, you know, we have to consider As you asked those questions in the initial consult. So one thing we do in Asia grad school, as we have a complete script on your initial consultation, including questions to ask and even homework before we meet them for them to ask themselves. And so you were able to tease out this information. So I think that’s number one is like you have clarity, not only of what those things were that they wanted. And you could like picture the life that they want us to live in or what home would fit. And they were in alignment. Right. But what they described for the price, they wanted to pay on the location they wanted, you were in alignment. Yeah. And so how did, how and why did they go off track? I think Clients like that go off track even when we’re in alignment, because the, what ifs start coming in. Yeah. And then maybe this is better or that would be better or is this the right? Am I making, you know, sometimes when you’re so clear, then you’re like, and it seems easy, you know, which it kind of, you know, that’s the point sometimes when it’s easy, people think it’s too easy and we were always telling people like, no, it can be that easy, you know? And they think it’s just to be a struggle and the, and all of that. And so I think there was a sense of like, we have to explore all the other options because this is too easy for us now that we found a house like in five minutes, but that, and I think that’s what happened. I mean, they didn’t tell me that, but that was what I was intuiting based on the choices they were making about let’s see this or that, that didn’t match the criteria. Yeah. Yeah. And so did you end up showing them these houses? Like you didn’t talk them out of it, right. You were like, let’s explore it. Or how do you handle that moment when they, when you knew they were going down the wrong path, but they went anyway. I mean, The, I think, you know, you have to give your client some leeway. You have to, you know, explore some options that you are pretty sure is not gonna pan out for them based on your own experience as an agent and what they’ve told you and all of that. But, you know, people have to see it for themselves or maybe someone would surprise you and they change their mind and they want something different, Which is always scary. Cause you’re like, which is it, wasn’t what you were originally told me or is it like the three 60 that we just made it, you know, Cut the lines of communication, really open. I mean, they made some pretty strong arguments for why they want it to go veer off course. They weren’t just like picking things. They were saying, they knew they were veering off course. And that was helpful. Yes. And you knew it too. And I think that’s, what’s really crucial is like knowing when we’re off the rails and being like, okay, let’s explore it and know, and everybody’s on the same page have like, this is not what you said, but like, let’s see it anyway to eliminate the possibility. And to another point that you made, you know, we always talk around here about the paradox of choice. And so often, I mean, it comes up on probably a daily basis when we talk about Clients right. Yes. It, for some reason, unfortunately there’s a book paradox of choice. We have a whole, a podcast episode about it. Please listen to it and how it can derail Clients. But the paradox of choice, like you said, it’s like, they think that they need to see more in order to make a better decision. When in fact scientifically it’s the opposite, but you don’t know what was happening. You were aware of this, you communicated it. And then what happened? And so we went down some of those roads and saw some of those houses and there were some pluses and minuses. So I thought, well, maybe this is a new road, but I still wasn’t. I didn’t think it was the right road based upon what they had told me in and getting to know them. But, you know, we didn’t, we, we explored these opportunities in different houses for a while, but then there came a point where we are now going down a rabbit hole were not just exploring where down in the hole, you know, and now we’ve lost sight of the criteria. Now we’ve lost sight of the, what we really wanted. And now we’re making compromises, well, this, you know, now we’re saying that criteria does it matter anymore? Right. We are starting to like, there’s cracks in, in the criteria. And they were very clear to me about what they wanted. So when I’m like, why are they compromising what they want and what is so important to them? You know? But is that also the moment where you’re like fresh? And I feel like you called me on a level of it. Yeah. Yeah. It was frustrated because, you know, we were, like I said, we then went down into the whole and I’m like, Whoa, let’s go back to like where we were and you know, and, and why are we compromising for things you don’t really want? But I can’t say, well, I know you don’t want this because, you know, so that’s when I called you, I was frustrated. They were on the verge of putting an offer in, on a home. That was a million dollars. There’s a million dollar home. Yeah. Thinking, Oh, okay. Most, not most some agents would say, let me just write this offer. Let’s say it’s a house, but you new from all the pieces that came before and the system that came before you knew this was the wrong move for Them. Yeah. And so what did you do next? Yeah, so I was, you know, I, I felt that this was probably, you know, the wrong move, but they felt strongly that they wanted to go ahead and proceed with the offer. And so I called you and I said, I’m frustrated and here’s what’s happening. And, and we talked about the way that we had gotten so far out of alignment and, you know, you gave me the advice and instruction of in which I, you know, never thought you were going to say, which was, let’s take a step back. You should call them. Or when you’re on this conference, call with them and take a step back, tell them we’re going to take a step back. And I want you to think about this particular home and I And and all of the reasons that you like it. And then let’s talk about the alignment and lets make sure these things match. And are you willing to make a, a million dollar mistake? One of the words, and now I remember, cause I’m like, I don’t remember this conversation And there was a weight in that make it, it was very powerful framing of it like a million dollar mistake and it, because that’s what it was. Right, right, right. It was. And if, you know, and, and if they have, when we, you know, so I said, wow, okay. I hadn’t thought of it that way. And then you explain a little bit more about, you had seen clients like this and you gave me some other, you know, advice about like how to, how to extract from them that that’s what they couldn’t see themselves. Right. Like, which Was what and how did you do it? You mean specifically was like getting back to that alignment of like, is this, you know, let’s talk about, like you said, you wanted a, you know, this particular thing when we met and it’s not matching that. So your, you know, are, are you okay with that? Like, I know what it has this whatever a great view or, or something like that are, you know, But, you really said, this is critical to your life, happiness, you know? And like, this is, you know, are you okay with that? Like compromising on that. Yeah. Or reminding them of their, as you like to say North star, because they have been so clear about it. And it, at the time I had spent with them and you know, a couple of months I got to know them well, and I was like, this is who they are. And this is not aligning with this house. And I thought they were falling in love with the house more than like all of the other things that were important. I always say When unfortunately, a lot of times when Clients fall in love, its kind of like when we fall in love and lust, right. When they fall in lust with a home kind of like, how do we sometimes lose our brain when we fall in lost in life? We forget like, no, we don’t want somebody who’s like flashy and pretty. We want somebody who’s got good morals and like is going to create the lifestyle we run. Same. We want for ourselves, same things with a house. Sometimes when people walk into a beautiful house and they forget like I need more space or I need X, Y, and Z. Yeah. Or this location is like, you know, going to, you know, alien, you know, like I’m really far from all the people that I love and care about. And that’s what I said. It’s like a bit gray for a criteria for me. Or I’m not gonna be able to bike from work for here or I’m not gonna be out, but you know what? This house is just so wonderful. You know, it’s the house last year. Right. Right. And I think they were in a bit of that. And and so, yeah. So, you know, and I didn’t expect you to tell me that, to take a step back, you know what I mean? I’m an agent I’m supposed to sell and I’m like, you know, here we are. And I’m like, okay, I’m going to tell them to take a step back. You know, we were going to have a pricing discussion about what we were going to offer. And I felt very much uncomfortable with that because he didn’t, you know, so we did have that conversation and they were so blown away that I suggested that we stepped back. They were like, wow, we didn’t think of that. Okay. Like this is what they thought we were going to talk about what And offer. There’s a couple of crucial things. I think that are here that I want to mention. Number one, that you knew what their criteria was. Right. You didn’t skip over the initial consultation. You, you asked the right questions. And so you had the North star and so you could always shine it up in the sky and said, are we in the right place or are we going in the wrong direction? And so the fact that you have that to be able to have, that is number one, huge. So you’re following the system perfectly. Number two, they thought they were walking into a pricing conversation. Right. And I think so often when we don’t want our clients to be the leader, right? Yes. There are certain times when we need to follow their lead. But in this particular case, you knew they were in my make gonna be making a million dollar mistake. You knew it wasn’t the right house for them based on what they’ve already told you. And rather than just moving forward and going on with the pricing conversation, which they said that, that that’s what they wanted. You did the right thing and you stopped and you slow them down. And you said, lets just make sure we are making the right decision first, before we get into pricing. And so did you ever even make it to a pricing conversation? No. Yep. Because I mean, The what I told them and they, you know, luckily again, these, our clients you can work with. Right. Because they took that and they said, okay let’s we are going to talk about this. We’re going to spend a couple of days talking about this, you know, and figuring out like, are we off the beaten path? Are we, or are we, you know, or they could have said, we’re not going to, we feel comfortable. We’re going to make the offer. Right. But the slowing down. Yeah. And that’s important because you’ve made them think about it, make a conscious choice so that there was no buyer’s remorse. So they didn’t look back and say like, why did Amy our expert let us do this. Right. And you provide value in a way that most agents wouldn’t and not just say that it just, you provide value in a way that’s like very personal to them. Yeah. Yeah. It was, you know what I want to do. And I, and I was stuck in the sense of maybe in my wrong, you know, because I have been so spending so much time, you know, this, this, this is, and then I’m I knew I wasn’t, but I certainly didn’t want to invalidate how they were feeling, you know? And it was, I couldn’t figure out how to have that conversation. And you know, when you kind of summarize, like let’s not make a million dollar mistake that a caught their attention. Right. Oh, that’s it’s yeah. We were, we were spending a million dollars. Let’s remember that, you know, not just like this house is beautiful, but yes. Money is involved. And then yeah. What if this is a mistake, let’s take a step back. Right. And so what did that conversation look like when you said to them, Hey, before we start talking about pricing and lets make sure we’re making the right choice and not making a million dollar mistake. Mmm. What happened next? Then you don’t necessarily need to be a little bit broad. And so we’re not like sharing totally personal information about somebody in particular, but how did you get them to take a few days and think about it and then ultimately take a complete left turn and go back to where they originally wanted and very quickly and very confidently buy a house. Right? You totally turn this around for them. And we’ll talk about the result next But what did that conversation kind of look like? Yeah. I mean the conversation started out as, Hey, you know, and we thought we were going to have this pricing discussion and I said, I know we’re talking about making, offering in this home, but I liked to setback for a minute and talk about the house in general. And and all of the things that you guys have been telling me you want and all of these things, you know, I’m just kind of being general in there. And then I said to them, you know, what, what I want you to, it’s not, Oh, this might be the right house for you, but I want you to take a step back and think about it because there’s a lot of things that don’t meet that criteria. And I, you know, I want to make sure that if you buy it, you’re going to be okay with that because you can’t, this is a million dollar million dollar investment. And if you make a mistake, it’s a million dollar mistake. It’s not a, you know, I bought the wrong bike, I’ll go get a different one. Or, you know, like, you know, dye my hair back to the same color. You know, we’re stuck here for a while and this was our very first home purchase. They had a way to have a while to buy their home. I also knew that they were planning to like get married and have children eventually. And like, there was a lot of that this house NEX purchase held for Them. And so, you know, I knew there was a lot on the line and I wanted to make sure that they were comfortable, you know, and I didn’t feel that they were there that said the agent tired side of me of going down rabbit holes. It’s kind of like, let me just, We don’t really have to tell them that I get that. I know it’s inside of me. It was just like, okay, if they want to buy this house, they can buy it. You know, the harder, more difficult thing to do is what you told me to do. And that was not what I thought you were going to tell me to do. And I had never said that to a client. I had never said, this could be an X amount of mistake, or I think you should say, you know what, let’s talk about stepping back and doesn’t mean to you. I never had that conversation. And so I was scared. Cause it was like, what if they are like, you know, they get offended, they were upset. They were, you know, I don’t, and they were very happy, But its because you just were reminding them the way that you kind of just explain it, explain how the conversation went. It was an a in a way that was very like caring, making sure they were making the right choice and validating. It was like, it might be the right choice, but let’s just make sure before we dive into like how high you wanna go on the offer. Right. So what happened next after the conversation concluded? What happened? Yeah. So, you know, they took some time. This is what they told me. They were going to do it, which was the whole point is, you know, to take some time and really kind of go back to the, to what we had discussed in the beginning and that particular North star and those three criteria and they realized that it didn’t fit like two of them out of three. So that’s probably not the right fit almost maybe three, you know, but they had to go back and talk it out. And then when they really fleshed that one, a little deeper with that, like, well, why did we pick this house? And like, you know, and then they realized that those kind of houses they were looking at, we’re not in that criteria at all. And it wasn’t going to meet what they wanted. And so that they were able to shift very quickly back to what they had told me from the beginning. And then we just stayed laser focused. It was a shift. And I think the shift to was, they trusted me in more. I mean they had trusted me before, but I think they trusted me more because I was like, Hey lets go back and take a look. You know, we want to make an offer. Great. But like let’s really think about this, you know? And they had told me they were thoughtful people and this was a big decision. Like it is for everybody. But they had spent a lot of years traveling and doing other things, not settling down. So this was like settling a Real settling. And it wasn’t just like, Oh, let me buy my first house for an investment. It was like a really, they were creating a life. They told me that we are creating a life and these are the things that are important to us. And so I think once they knew like I’m a thousand percent on your side, if they didn’t know before then I think it was an easier Shit. And they bought a house very quickly. Right. Right. In, in the area that you thought they would originally and they bought yeah. Dan saving you like endless like time, energy driving back and forth between the two different completely I’m complete different like black. Yeah. Black and white. And like they were really struggling and I was struggling to help them because I didn’t want to just cut it off and say this isn’t right for you. We’re not going to look at these houses. You know, I can’t do it that way. You can do it that way, but you can’t go down a rabbit hole this forever. It’s not helping them. They are getting frustrated. You’re getting frustrated. So how do you have that conversation? And I think, you know, the conversation goes back to the reminder of like what you said was important to you, important to you and like, you know, and I think it’s easier to do with those clients who are, who are Well, having a hard time, their having a difficult time. They aren’t Difficult right. And there’s a difference. And so what happened? So they bought a house very quickly thereafter, right? Yes. They bought a house quickly thereafter. They, I can’t say it, but it’s a very nice, With something they did their house But it would. Yeah. But yeah, they loved it. And then didn’t they like parade you around, like they invited you to their holiday party and then, Oh no, that was a different client, but their heart, they are a part of it. Okay. So, so tell us about that because I love this part of the story a month later. Yeah. You see them at another client party who they are probably referred to you, right? Yes. Yep. And then your ass, like I was at a holiday party with like every club or like a half of my, like, not half my clients, but a lot of my Clients, it was great. It was like a client reunion, holiday party. And then so some of those clients started introducing me and they were there and they were so I haven’t seen them in a while. They’d been traveling and they were so happy and they were hugging me and they’re like, Oh my gosh, we love where we live. And we were just so happy. And so they introduce me to their friend and they said, Oh, this is our realtor said, you know, she, you know, we dragged her all over XYZ before she found us at home in the neighborhood. She knew we were going to, by in the day, the day she met us, I love them. Like they knew like they had like, and I said, Oh, you know, till it goes. And they were like, no, we just love her so much. And you know, but they knew that like I had been patient with Them in retrospect, you know, now that they live there, they’re like, Oh, we get it, Amy. You know? But, but then they got clarity. Yeah. And you don’t want to happen is not ever get to the clarity. And then you buy the wrong house. Yeah. And you know, so A good example, have you were really frustrated? I mean, I can remember because you, I think we have more than one conversation with them about them and you kept hitting a wall and you’re like, I don’t know how to get them out of this. And so you did it beautifully and they ended up with a perfect thing. So how could you tell the difference between that and who you do need to let go and how do you let them go? And for me, it’s always, you know, and I’ll ask you too, But for me, it’s always like, I have a very structured system. You have to meet with me to add an initial consultation. You have to talk to a lender, you have to have an, a, B like, there’s certain things that we make our clients do with the age and grade school system. And so for me, a difficult client is somebody who doesn’t follow those systems. It doesn’t follow that way because I know the best way to get them where they want or who, for me, it was always about like, if I felt like people, if I just, to be honest, like I got to the point where if I just didn’t really feel like there was a connection or if they just weren’t really listening or responding to me, except like, when they want it to see a house, you know, like there’s all sorts of parts of the process. Or if they’re not following along, that would be somebody, I would put it in the, like this isn’t probably going to work category. Anything that you want to add to that, like, how do I identify the two? And then we’ll finish off with like how to let those clients go in a graceful way. Yeah. I think that’s, I think exactly what you’re saying is right. I mean, I think its, you know, you know, fellow the age in grad school program and you know, if people are, are doing what they’re, you know, following like our program because it works, you know, then, then I w if we get off course, we still have a chance, you know? But if, if, if it’s it’s a Willy nilly and I want to do what I hear in there and I didn’t get my lender, you know? And if I feel like, yeah, I mean, then it’s time to let them go. But I mean, you know, part of our job, like you said, it’s, it’s, it’s, To sometimes they don’t know they’re Willy nilly. Sometimes you have to like gently push them back and remind them to do the steps. Right. And sometimes there’s legitimate reasons. They haven’t done it and it’s, and you can work with those people. You know, some, some, something terrible happened in their family. They had a funeral, they had this, they had that things that they had promised they were going to do. But there are people that eventually like, you have to let go of because they’re there never in alignment with With With our respect, your time or your time on things that are unrealistic. So there’s a group of people that like, if you’re on the fence about, there’s a really good strategy where oftentimes I was having problems with clients who I was showing them house after house, after house that matched exactly their criteria. And at some point I said, I would have to have what I call it, coming to Jesus. Right. And I’d say to them, you know, this really, this house fits your criteria perfectly. So I’m just unclear about what it is that we’re waiting for. Is it that you just don’t feel ready for a lifetime perspective. And maybe we should just put our search on hold until you feel more ready to actually pull the trigger. Cause what we’ve realized is like what you want and what you wanna pay and where are you wanting to live? Like its in alignment. Right? So if you’re in this, not mentally ready than like let’s put in our, search it on hold for a few months and lets pick it back up when you feel ready. And sometimes people say, yeah, you know, like that make sense to me. I don’t feel, I feel like I know what I want and I can see that it’s here. I just don’t want to move forward. Right. For whatever reason. And so sometimes it’s just like away for you to not continue showing houses to somebody who is not ready to buy when you know that like what they want is out there. Right. And so then you can make a agreement that, okay, lets pick the, search it back up and you know, X number of months. And then you reach out to them and you get them started again saying like, you remember last time we talked to the da. So that’s one strategy, another strategy with people who continue to look at houses in your life. I don’t get it. It is, you know, really saying like, I’m not sure like, Oh are you sure you want to buy? Because what you want, as you want to know, are people buying or are they like looking or where are we in this process? Because you don’t want to just, I mean, there is a part of the process where you w where you are looking until they’re ready to buy. But if that process has come and gone and there are still not buying, you need to address, like what’s going on in a way that like, you can’t just, you don’t say this to them, but you can’t like just keep showing houses to people who are never going to buy something. Right. And oftentimes it’s about having another conversation or if they keep finding excuses with houses, right. It’s reminding them what needs to be adjusted in the alignment conversation. And we have another podcast episode about getting your clients in alignment. And so really saying like, are you willing to make this adjustment so that you’re in alignment? Because if you’re not, we’ve got to talk about what that means, right? This is a way to gracefully. Kind of just tell people on a nice supportive way. We’re not, there’s something not working. And so we have to identify what it is and decided together what to do about it. For those people who really, you just gotta let them go. You have to be willing to let them go. And so often agents hold on and hold on. And it just it’s, it really is not a good idea. And so whenever I feel like that happening, and to be perfectly honest, it’s only happened like twice in my career, but it was like quite disrespectful and almost combative type of relationship. And I’m not like a combative kind of person. Right. And I had to finally say, you know, I really, unfortunately don’t think this is going to work. I do not think that we have the type of relationship where I can really help you get what you want. I would be happy to refer you to somebody else who I think is a better fit, but I no longer can continue to work together. And sometimes they turn around and they say, can you tell me why? And you have to be kind of honest in a way and just say, like, you’re not taking my advice. You’re not listening to anything. Like I have provide no value. And I use that. I’m not able to provide value. Like I can’t, I’m not somebody who just opens the door. And if you disagree with me on everything, I’m going to say, I don’t provide you any value. So I think we should move on to somebody else. Right. And But really closing the door on that relationship in a respectful way, in a graceful way. That’s not angry, but just, just like this, isn’t going to work. And here’s what I can do to help you find somebody that is going to work, but we’re not doing this anymore. Right. And just, I know we read a great book about that. And I can’t remember the title about, you know, how endings don’t have to be bad. We have this like cultural idea that, you know, endings are bad and their not, you know, they can like benefit both parties. We’ll have to think of the book and a half to like, get in to send it to you again. If I can see if you remember it, I’ll put it in the show notes for this stuff. That’s a really wonderful, because it, it, it, it freed me up a lot to understand that like an ending isn’t isn’t bad, but culturally we’ve been like conditioned to believe anything that ends is that means it’s bad. And that’s not the case. Not at all. Sometimes it can be a wonderful new beginning. Yes, totally. Yes. So on that note, let’s recap, whenever you feel frustrated by a client, grab the worksheet that goes along with this episode, go to age in grad and get the free download and just work through what decision you make. It’ll help you determine which side of Difficult they are. Are they having difficulties or are they actually Difficult? And then what opportunity this presents that you can help them just like Amy provided that example to get unstuck and get back to where they are supposed to be, or have the conversation where I think beautiful ending conversation, where they need to move on, on your happy to help them do that. So don’t be begrudging and don’t hold on tight, be willing to let go. And don’t focus just on your commission. Check your goal as an agent is to always be adding true value to your clients lives. And so be looking at anything that looks Difficult with that, how can I really help this person get through this piece? And remember they need us, we want to be happy when we have difficult clients or frustrating clients, because that means that they need us to get through a difficult part in their own search. So think of yourself more as opening a door with those difficulties, and instead of an agent who just sees things and also be an agent who can see things that are age or a Clients, can’t see. So help your clients bust through those blocks in ways that they can’t, they don’t even expect kind of like Amy mentioned, because without those hurdles, we have no job. Thanks for listening. And we’ll see you next time on Confessions of a Top Producing real estate. Thank you so much for listening to today’s episode. Remember change happens when you take action. So apply what you learned today to your own real estate business. If this episode has helped you subscribe, leave a review and share it with all your real estate agent friends, and as always, if you want even more great resources to create the real estate business you’ve always wanted, and to have the life you want outside of your business, to head over to agent grad and sign up for the free weekly trainings, you’ll get free classes and discounts and other goodies that only go out to real estate agents on that email list. See you next week right here on Confessions of a Top Producing Real Estate Agent the Agent Grad School Podcast.

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