Active Patience – 4 Places Every Real Estate Agent Needs It

Our best resources for agents who are ready for
6-Figure years
Our Best free resources for brand new agents


I'm Jennifer Myers, Founder of Agent Grad School and host of Confessions of a Top Producing Real Estate Agent, The Agent Grad School Podcast.  My goal for each episode is to give you actionable steps you can implement today to grow your real estate business.

Getting Clients

more categories

Hey there!

Read Transcript

What the heck is active patience and why does every real estate agent need it?

Here’s the story of how I came up with this concept and how it helped me in my real estate business:

When I decided to become a real estate agent I thought things would happen quickly–I would get a client quickly, the next client would always come quickly, clients would make decisions quickly, commission checks would get to me quickly, and I would be successful quickly.

But when I actually became a real estate agent, it felt like everything was happening in slow motion.

None of those things came quickly.

It was frustrating, it felt hard and I kept thinking something was wrong with me.

But, nothing was wrong with me. And if you feel like things are happening slower than you thought they would, nothing is wrong with you either.

What I know now that I didn’t know then is that I needed to be patient.

But, not just passively waiting around for things to happen kind of patience. That type of patience leads to inaction and doesn’t work.

We need to be actively patient.

This type of patience requires a lot of work on our part.

. . . It requires we be the guiding professional that helps our clients without rushing them.

. . . It requires we be the steady person that doesn’t panic when the market changes.

. . . It requires we be the knowledgeable person showing up with the data to show our clients how to make smart, informed decisions.

…It’s about doing things without seeing immediate results long enough to get the results you want.

…It’s about trying things and them not working the first time, picking ourselves back up, making adjustments, and continuing to march forward.

…It’s about having a belief in ourselves that’s so strong and so certain that we aren’t frantic, overwhelmed, or rushing to get anywhere other than here.

When it comes to being a real estate agent, patience–active patience–truly is a virtue.

And there’s another piece to this–not only do we need to be actively patient, but we need to be actively patient in four very specific areas:

  • Patient with ourselves;
  • Patient with building our career;
  • Patient with the market; and
  • Patient with our clients.

In today’s episode of Confessions of A Top Producing Real Estate Agent, The Agent Grad School Podcast, one of our students and I are diving deep into this concept of being actively patient in each of these four areas of being a real estate agent.

You can listen to it here:

If things are happening slower in your real estate business than you imagined, I hope this episode helps you.

To your success,


Episode Transcript

If you ever feel like things are going more slowly in your real estate business than you think they should be, or you thought they would before you became a real estate agent. This episode is for you on today’s episode, we’re going to talk about patience when it comes to your real estate business. And we’re going to talk about it in two different ways. Number one, we need to do what’s called Active Patience. That is not the passive kind of doing nothing and waiting around and being patient, but it’s important as real estate agents, as business owners, as entrepreneurs, we practice what’s called Active Patience. I’m gonna explain what that is. And specifically we need to be actively patient in four areas of our real estate business. Learn all about this and how you can apply this concept to your real estate business. Right now. Welcome to this episode of Confessions of a Top Producing Real Estate Agent. I’m your host, Jennifer Myers, listen in, as I share exactly what I did to go from not being able to sell a house for years to becoming one of the top 1% of agents in the U S even opening my own brokerage full of agents helped me serve all the clients that were coming my way. I taught those agents the same strategies I used in date to became top producing agents. Now through this podcast and agent grad, I’m sharing those same modern marketing and business strategies with you. Most of which I learned from looking outside the real estate industry, no fluff, no theory, no outdated sales techniques or paying for leads. Just the exact steps to get you the real estate business you’ve always wanted. And the life outside your business, you’ve always wanted to let’s make it happen and dive into today’s episode. Hey, Amy, it’s great to have you on again. Thank you for being here. Hi Jen. How’s it going? Good all morning, as I was thinking about recording this podcast with you, I was humming the guns and roses song patients and how we all need a little patience, because today we’re going to talk about patients. And I think patients could be like a big term, right? It’s like, just be patient it’s like that can feel frustrating from somebody who inherently I am not patient at all. I don’t want to wait for anything, but when it comes to your real estate business and your real estate career, you really need to have patients in four different categories. You need to have patients with yourself. You need to have patience with building a career. You need to have patience with the market. And that includes like other agents and like just things that kind of what feels like out of your control and then patients with your clients. And so I asked you Amy to join me because I think you so beautifully, Amy have demonstrated the impact of patience and perseverance as far as, as long as I’ve known you, which has been 10 years as a student. And so I thought who better to talk about patients then? You know, so I’m going to kind of just let you rip, but let’s just start like, talk about one becomes Patient with ourselves, especially in the beginning of our career. What is your advice on that for, for new or struggling real estate agents? Yeah. So, yeah, thanks for inviting me. And you know, they don’t say patience is a virtue for no reason at all. Right? It’s something that I think everybody struggles with myself included everyone because, you know, like you just said it, patients means wait and who wants to wait. Right. Everybody wants it now. And particularly in the world we live in. So I, you know, I think patients when I first started was really, really, really important because in the beginning, there’s a lot of what people would deem I guess, failure, but it was really just trying, right. It wasn’t necessarily a failure. It was just trying. And, you know, I would try and feel like a failure and then try, try again, you know, and that’s kind of, kind of the, the seeker of being patient and not expecting it to like land every time, you know, simple things like, you know, doing my first open house and getting no clients, you know, there’s so many ways to stop yourself from being successful in real estate. And one of the first ways is when you’re trying things just, well, that didn’t work, you know, cause he tried at one time or this didn’t work or why does this work for our Jennifer? But it doesn’t work for me. That’s a big one too, comparing out in that in the beginning, you know? Well, they’re very successful without understanding how they got so successful without seeing all the work that that person did to get to that point. So I would say the first thing is like, try really hard, not to compare yourself with other agents, particularly ones doing really, really well and maybe try to mint, get them to mentor you or talk with you or share their secrets with you. And he, and even when you take those in understand, like that’s their business model and does that ring true to you and something that you might want to do for you and I did, there was a synergy there. Right? So yeah, go ahead. Sorry. No, so I was fortunate in that sense. I had not, before I met you though, there was a lot of not, not sending no synergies there with things like here, go blow up these balloons and like be at the open house and I’m not gonna really tell you anything and I’m not going to help you. I’m not going to talk to you. I’m just going to use you as, you know, the person will be as a warm body. Yeah. Because we’re all searching for success in our career mentorship. I was willing to go all kinds of ways and try all kinds of things to be successful. You know, there wasn’t any one thing that I thought, well, I hadn’t met you at that point. And as you know, when you first start kind of a free for all, it’s like, you it’s like walking into a maze. There’s, there’s so many different. So you’re like, I could go this way. I could go this way. Right. I could go that, you know, I could be on a team. I could be a buyer’s agent. I could, you know, go knock on doors for listings that I could send out postcards, what do I do? Where do I start? I have a light. It’s like, I’m standing there. I have a license. What I do now, you know, and everybody is. And what it felt like is that everybody was walking past me going, you got to decide, figure it out, you know? And that’s how it felt. Well, I also think when it comes to patients with yourself, I think it’s also about setting realistic expectations for outcomes. Like I think sometimes I don’t know why maybe it’s as adults or maybe we have a Pollyannish outlook before we actually become a real estate agent. I know I certainly did about what it’s like to be a real estate agent. If it looks from the outside super easy, it’s not, once you get into it, you realize it’s actually a business that you need to treat like a business. And there’s, it’s, you know, it’s no surprise that 80 20% of, or sorry, 20% of the agents sell 80% of the homes it’s hard. And that wouldn’t be the case if it was easy. So I think remembering that set realistic expectations, like you’re saying, when you do your first open house plan free to bomb, like I told them, when you’re telling your first listing presentation, when you do your first hundred listing presentations, just expect it to be terrible. So you’re not surprised, so you’re not thrown off so that you’re not beating yourself up and not being willing to go back out there. And so I just say like, make, make a ticker until you get to, you know, at least 50 of these 20 don’t even have an expectation that it’s going to go well, and I have had yes. And I had had, you know, my fair share of rejection and jobs that I had applied for before I started in real estate. I mean, I had a career prior watched posts that calm and PR and marketing and that, and I loved it. And then the economy kind of went south a little bit and I had a really hard time finding my next path. And I had a lot of rejections there and I decided to try real estate. So I’d, you know, I’d already had that rejection. So this was actually a little easier because at least I could make some decisions. Right. You know, as opposed to sitting at home and being like, you didn’t get this job and throw that away, you didn’t get the shot. It’s like, okay, that’s the great thing about real is that you have you’re in the driver’s seat. Right. It’s the hardest thing, but it’s also the best thing. And so for me, when I would bomb at things or not do a great job or maybe follow somebody who didn’t feel like that’s what I want to do, but I did it anyway. All of these were just experiences for me was I stressed out about like money and my career and how I was doing with my clients. And did I look stupid and make mistakes? Yes. But I still you’re like, you’re listening. Yeah. I just kept going, you know, and just, you know, my friend used to say it was just, I don’t know if this is a compliment or it says something terrible about me, but that commercial, I guess, in the seventies of life cereal, you know, give it to Mikey, he’ll eat anything, you know, like, well, no one else will eat it and they’re like, he’ll eat anything. I was willing to do anything. And that doesn’t mean that I’m like, I, I mean, there were, there were tough, tough days, you know, but I just got up the next day and it was like, okay. And, and also to new opportunities would, would come, you know, I’d have a not so great weekend. And then maybe by Monday I’d have something better come along. So it was always just enough to keep me motivated. And then I also come from a crew from a family of entrepreneurs and I understand like it’s not like a regular nine to five job. I, I grew up that way, understood the hours that my parents put in for their jobs. And I knew that there, and I also knew that there wasn’t a formula. I knew that my parents were different than other people’s parents. Like the other people’s parents went to a business, sat down from nine to five, had a higher debris, did their specialization and came home. My parents were in and out the door, you know, they were entrepreneurs, they were doing things very differently or weekends look different, our evenings with different, you know, I spent time in their restaurants with them and my dad ran a bar for a while. You know, it was a very different childhood than, and I actually didn’t like that. I wanted my parents to be normal. Like everybody else’s parents, you know? So I’d seen like that. It’s not, there’s no direct path, you know? And then I think that helped me in real estate. Cause I’m like, yeah, sure. I’ll work at four o’clock on Friday or whatever time. Yeah. But I think the takeaway with being patient with yourself is setting, setting realistic expectations, not expecting you to be amazing at something the first 1, 2, 3, 20 times. And one reason that like, for me, when I keep, when I, when I can coach our agents, so specifically, like, I’ll say like, say it this way or say this, say this, instead of that is because I’ve, I’ve said all the wrong things all the time, but I know it’s not going to work. And so just reminding yourself that everything is an experience, everything is helping you build and be better and not to get it can feel frustrating. Believe me. I know, I know how it feels, but don’t give up on the fact that it takes, it’s taking you quote unquote a little bit longer than it should. And I think that’s one of those statements that can be a career killer. It’s taking me longer than I thought it would. Or I think it’s taking me longer than it should. And my whole thing is like, it took me, I had, I’m trying to do the math 15 years to make my first million in real estate. As in my first million dollar year, it took me 15 years to make $1 million in one year in real estate. I would never trade the 15 years. And then from there it just was easy year after year. And so just remember that sometimes it’s like, would you be willing to put in 10, 15 years to have the business that, I mean, I didn’t even dream of having that kind of business was bigger dream than I could ever have dreamt, but you have to be patient with yourself along the way. Now let’s change this slightly, this conversation about not only patients with yourself, but patients with building a career, a sustainable profitable career in real estate that you can actually depend on one that’s consistent. One that like create helps you create the life outside your business that you want. And it, in order to do that, it does require patients. Can you talk a little bit about that piece? Any, because that’s where I think you just have shined at least. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I, you know, I, I’m a obviously firm believer and agent grad school and everything that I was taught there and that’s coming from me. He didn’t tell me to say that and then saw how successful you were and are. And I saw that you didn’t do it overnight either. I could see the hard work I was, you know, in the office with you, I saw your schedule, I saw what was happening. And so I knew that if I put in the time and the effort and did everything, you know, as I was, you know, learning to do that, the payoffs would come and that never ever left my mind. And so I think that’s, you know, we talk a lot about mindset and for me it was like, you know, like when we even set small goals, right. And my goal was really to, you know, do what you had done to get the success that you had gotten. And so I followed in those footsteps. So I was much further behind in years and experienced than you had. Right. So I knew I wasn’t going to overnight sell, you know, $30 million in property. I mean, I, I was happy to, and, and I had very realistic expectations for whatever reason. I, you know, I knew, I knew what I did know, you know, familiar with what I did, but it didn’t mean that I couldn’t get there. And I did. I just went out and did it, just did everything that I was supposed to do and needed to do. And sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn’t, but I also saw that it wasn’t like a straight ladder for you. You just didn’t hop on a ladder one day and then you got to a million dollars. So I literally was like, okay, but I have, she had to do all of these things first, you know, before she got to this, this, this pinnacle. So I, I had you as kind of that actual literal example in front of me. And I think that just kept me very focused. And then when I did get down or I got and Patient, I would try to really be like, okay, let’s focus on your business. What are you doing? And what are you not doing? I had to get honest with myself sometimes about the things that I wasn’t doing, because this isn’t a business where someone’s going to knock on your door and go, Hey me, it’s time to get out of the bed time to update your database. Yeah. Time to do all the things that you don’t want to do. That’s actually going to get you time, time to write personal notes to your clients. You know, nobody was standing over me saying those things, right. I had to be, you know, as you always say, the driver of the bus, I had to be the one to propel the business. And I think that’s where people get stuck too. And there starts to be that kind of blame game. Usually the first one being like my broker is so terrible and some of them are not great brokers, right? I’ve worked for different people or you know, that I don’t want to do it that way. Or my time is too valuable to do whatever, or it doesn’t work for me. All of that stuff. I hear a lot in real estate. So I called the unhelpful thoughts. They’re having those thoughts indulging in those thoughts that you can have those thoughts, but indulging in them and pretending, believing that they’re true is not going to lead you. Where do you want to go? So when that stuff creeps in, you’ve got to let it go. Oh yeah, go ahead. And also like every opportunity I got to be in front of a client or to email with a client or anything, I really just went all in. And like was very, you know, was very focused on each and every transaction of a very Patient with every seat, fill em with every client that I have. I try to really stay focused on the service part of, of this industry. So I think that helps too, instead of focusing on what am I getting or not getting, how far, what are my numbers now? You know, there’s different programs and different client agents, you know, say, oh, like, you know, I made X amount, I did X amount and that’s how they, they go orient or goal reach that doesn’t really resonate for me. So when I, you know, when I, I, you know, when I was out the line, I would go back and look and be, and stay focused, stay focused on, you know, my next steps are, and I can, now that I’ve been in the business longer and I’ve done this, I can kind of see, like, if I fallen down on something, you know, you get backed up. Exactly. You know exactly why at this point and what you need to do. Anytime you feel yourself getting impatient or frustrated with yourself or your, your career, you think things aren’t taking, aren’t taking, you know, or taking too much time. One, one trick that I have used successfully. And I know you use at Amy is instead of focusing on yourself, focus on the people that you can help. The minute you stop looking inward, you can’t when you start focusing on yourself and how this is taking longer, or I’m impatient and I’m frustrated, right. You cannot get anywhere where you want to go looking inward like that. You have to look outward and say, okay, it’s not about me. Yes. I might be frustrated. Yes. I might be scared. Yes. I might be, you know, impatient and feel like a total loser at this point, all the things I’ve thought about myself multiple times throughout my career. But the minute I’m able to pivot my attention away from myself and Whitman to my clients and say, who can I actually help here? It changes everything. And the other thing, when it comes to having Patient with building our career, and I mean, you and I talk about this a lot for me in the beginning of my career, I just wanted to make the money I was making before I became a real estate agent. And then once I was able to accomplish that, then my next plan was, oh, I mean, if I could do that, I wonder if I could make six figures. And I thought making six figures was the end all be all. Because when I grew up, my neither of my parents made six figures and, or I think I remember the day that they like got a promotion or something and made six figures. It was like a big deal. Right. And I was like, wow, like, I’m going to make six figures. That became my next goal. And then everything changed for me because I said to myself, instead of just focusing on me, me, me, right. And my money, or, you know, these goals instead I said to myself, I want to consider myself like a council member on my, on my clients, like staff, essentially. Right. And if I’m going to make money, like their doctor, their lawyer, their accountant, their financial planner, like I want to be at this at the seat of that table. And if I’m going to have that, I need to act like that. I need to act like a true professional. And there’s one thing in common with each one of those people, the CPA, the financial planner, the doctor, the lawyer, what is one thing that has common about each one of those? Yeah. It takes a lot of time invested and money invested in your own growth and your own learning and your own like evolution a as a professional to get a seat at that table. And so once I changed that mindset, instead of focusing on my six figures, I changed how I approach, how, who I wanted to be for my clients. Then patients for me, like just settled in for me because I was like, okay, if I want to make doctor money or lawyer money, I got to invest like a doctor, a lawyer. I got to act like a doctor and a lawyer. And I have to, I have to put in the time to be an expert in my field, like a doctor and a lawyer best. Yeah. So that’s what gave me that patient for me. Yeah. Yeah. Or professional athlete, someone who has a sustainable long-term professional career, you know, I don’t think Michael, you know, Michael Jordan’s like, oh, he didn’t just like, knock it out of the park, like a couple of seasons and N you know, or should, or I should say play basketball, you know, it, it, and if you watch, which we both talked about, what’s it called the last dance maybe. Yeah. I love that. That show on ESPN. Yeah. I mean, it’s all about, you know, I mean his evolution and he’s always pushing, I mean, he was at the pinnacle of success and then like treated himself, like he was a novice, you know, in the gym, like just, you know, and when he would mess up, when he messed up a couple of games, like going in and just like practicing three froze, like all night long, you know? And like everyone, at that time, he had more money than he could probably ever spend. He has had more success, more everything you would want as a professional athlete yet he still was able to, you know, humble himself enough to go in and, and know like, oh, miss this, didn’t do that. You know, constantly sharpening those tools and those skills. And really, really, and that’s, that’s the difference between a true professional, I would say, and a professional athlete, you know, he’s, you could have easily rested on his laurels and, you know, went back to his room and, you know, whatever. And instead he was constantly, you know, making himself better. And his team better, even after he had preached, as you had said, like similar to you, like all of your success points and your goals. Yeah. So I always say, we always talk about athletes. So I think they’re like good examples of that. The really good athletes in the sustaining ones, if people have a long-term career. And I think that’s part of that, right? You can’t, you know, because there’s going to be, and just like in long-term athletic, you’re just going to be good years just going to be bad years, you know, it’s, it’s the whole, it’s the whole thing, you know, and I think in real estate, it’s so like, oh, this was the greatest year ever. And then people rest on their laurels. Right. And that’s not what we’re talking about. And I think setting expectations for yourself, I think so often if for whatever reason people could get into real estate and they, oh, I’m going to make, you know, 80 K or a hundred K and it’s going to be easy. And I say the first hundred K that you make in real estate is the hardest, a hundred thousand dollars you will ever make. But think about it the first hundred thousand dollars you ever made at anything, think about how much went into that. And then suddenly we quit, we quit our jobs and we think I’m going to just make it the first year. It’s like, well, wait a second, you are new at this thing. And so the expert, it just really like, anytime you find yourself being impatient, ask yourself what expectation you weren’t setting and whether or not that’s realistic and not go ahead. What are you doing to get yourself to that next level? You know? I mean, you know, I think, yeah, yeah. Like what are, what am I doing day-to-day to get to that next level? And always pushing ourselves? I feel like there is a bit of like in the industry, you know, of, of being beholden to where the market is, and then kind of chasing the market as your success. I see that, you know, when I came in, oh, it’s a buyer’s market better work with buyers. You know, now it’s a sellers market better work with sellers. And I’m like whiplash, like which way does that’s tying your success? And your ability to sell houses to the market is the worst thing that you can do for your, for yourself in real estate. I can tell you like wholeheartedly, like when the market crashed the worst recession in history, my business quadrupled, and I’m not saying that for any other reason, then it has nothing to do. The market has nothing to do with your ability to sell homes. Homes are still selling. And so let’s move on to the market because I think this is where a lot of people especially recently get really frustrated. So talk, what tips do you have Amy on how to be Patient with the market generally? But I think specifically right now the market is something to get easily frustrated with. Yeah. Well, I think part of it is a little bit of the podcast that we talked about before keeping your blinders on being very careful about what you’re paying attention to and what you’re listening to. And what’s important to listen to, and what’s not changing interest rates. It’s important to listen to that. It’s important to reach out to your clients and talk about what that means both now and historically, and how that will affect them, you know, as they have their search, same thing for sellers, you know, it’s important to have that conversation. It’s important though, not to get wrapped up in the what ifs and the future casting. Oh, you know, we’re always asked to predict the future as realtors, you know, Amy, am I going to sell my house for 20% more now, or 20% less? Or am I going to get this? Or my neighbor got that, all of that kind of stuff. And as they really really focus in, on, on your client, on the core and what you’re trying to help your client accomplish like that, you know, staying focused on that micro level, the macro is important. It’s always important, but it, but it’s so much less important than what’s right in front of you right now, you know, the clients you have in front of you, how you’re trying to help them. Yes. The market’s going to do what it’s going to do. The rates are going to go up the chair. We know that. And so, you know, they’ve been talking about it. I mean, I remember you and I having a conversation probably in 2018 saying, yep. 2020 is going to be the year it’s gonna, they’re going to tick up, you know, and then COVID happened. Yeah. But it wasn’t the COVID we might have had that. Right. Right. And that’s, and that’s the point is that we can’t, we can, we can predict with some certainty, but not a whole lot. It really doesn’t matter if, if, if your goals are still the same. If my goal is Amy, you know, I’m 30, some years old, I want to buy my first condo. I’m tired of paying rent. I’ve saved up X amount of money here. You know, this is kind of what I want. This is what I see myself in. Here’s what my wife came it to be. I want to capitalize on taxes and, you know, have a place that I can, you know, do renovations and own and be proud of. That’s not going to change where the rate’s four and a half or five and a half, you know, buyer’s market or a seller’s market. Like those things, you just need to find clients who get that. Yeah. And there are plenty of them out there and they want that guidance and they need that guidance. And what’s great about when you have these strong headwinds of, you know, oh, you can’t, there’s no houses to buy and the rates are going up. But you know, to me, that’s always the great opportunity. I love the fact that I have a whole set of science and it started with one client who really wanted to buy his first place. And, and it was a condo in Washington and he had just finished grad school, saved a little bit of money, not a ton of money. It’s, it’s fairly expensive here in the city. And we were able to get him a really great two bedroom. He shared it with his roommate at the time, so that helped with the mortgage. And he just was so excited that he could do something like that fresh out of grad school and, you know, own a piece of property that he went and told all his friends who would be then referred to me. And then they all bought properties to different forms. And some of them were married and different things, but, you know, I love that. And like, wow, I opened up a whole other channel for this person and all of his friends that they could buy something now, and here were all the benefits of it. And he, pretty soon he started coming to like, he would show up with his different friends. He’s like, oh, you know, I love real estate. And again, I’m just coming along with my friends. He was my, you know, he was spreading the real estate message, you know, and, and all of those people are so, you know, I’ve helped them all. They’re moving so great to work with. They’re so excited that they, you know, own a piece of property. They were able to do it sooner than they all assumed, you know, went to grad school. Right. So I’m not going to be able to buy something for another 10 years probably because I’ve got to pay all my school loans and, you know, they were able to see that they could actually afford something regardless of what the market’s doing. Like the market’s up, the market’s down, like that possibility for them exists regardless of what the markets do. Yeah. And I opened this, you know, and they all bought a little bit differently and different areas had different amounts of money saved, you know, but all of these people were, you know, folks who I think had thought, well, the prevailing thought is just finished grad school. I have to, I have students that I’m just kind of starting my big job. And, you know, it’s really expensive here in DC. I probably won’t be a little cause it’s, you know, leaning seller’s market for a very long time here. And I probably won’t be able to buy something. And then all those people went out and bought properties and, you know, yeah. And I still have all of that. Okay. It’s our job. When we talk about patients with the market, it’s truly our job to be our clients navigator of whatever market is happening. And I say this all the time, I wish I could just like only play a podcast. That’s like on repeat that is your job exists because the market is tough because the market was super easy. We could be replaced truly by technology if it was that easy. And so what I want to remind everybody when it comes to patients with the market is regardless of how tough the market is. And I mean, it’s probably the worst. I don’t know if the worst is the right category, but you know, it’s the toughest market. I think we’ve probably ever seen yeah. For inventory lows. And yes, it’s very, very for single family homes. It’s very, very, very difficult. And it does get very frustrating for everybody to, you know, and, and yeah, but our, but that is why we are the professionals, because our job is to help our clients navigate this very difficult market. That’s what good professionals do. And so whenever I, you know, think about how tough the market is, I say to myself, like, yes, it’s frustrating. Yes. It’s like, it’s very difficult to have patience with the market, but it’s also my job to be the voice of reason for my clients and help them navigate this. So I have to be the one to have the patience, to be the rational. Yeah. One thing I really try to do in this market, because there is so much talk about, you know, there’s no houses and you know, the houses, there were 10, 10 offers or 20 offers or 27 offers or all of these kinds of things. Yes. All of those things are happening. But then I, you know, I always think about, but what do we have going for us? Or what in my market do we have going for us? And I really try to remind my, my buyers and my sellers. We have a very strong job market here. We have, you know, limited housing. Yes. But people do move, they move. They just do. They go to different cities, they have different jobs. They want bigger houses. You know, they’re not moving as much after COVID, but they’re going to be moving again. You know, we have, most of my clients are really good credit. They have really good jobs. They’re very stable. I try to kind of remind everybody of the greater picture that yes, we have this nation of wealth and things that, and this is, this is, it feels like a big deal, but it’s not, we’re going to move on from this. Like, we’re not going to have this holy, you know, no inventory forever, you know, comparative to the rest of the world. We have a lot of things, a lot of resources. And it’s just going to take us a little more time and it is a little frustrating, but it’s going to take us a little more time. We’re going to get there. I have people under contract, you know, lats, settling multiples every, every week, this month, those are all buyers buying houses. Yeah. And just knowing that in this market, it might take four offers. Writing four offers with one client, it might take 10, but also, you know, just being patient and being the first one. You and I have talked about a client recently, was it the first one? I think it was the first one we wrote when I wrote literally, I was like, wow. You know? And so miracles literally happen. Sometimes it takes a little longer, but we have a lot working in our favor. So getting into all these conversations about how tough everything is and all of that, it’s just not helpful. And it is tough. But if you have patients and you say to your clients, no, we’re going to get you the next one. You know, I, I always tell my people, my clients, this, I always find a better house. And then they’re like, God, glad we didn’t get that other one, you know? And 99% of the time, yeah, it happens every time in hindsight, whenever clients are down, I go, listen, I’m telling you this wasn’t your house. And you will see that in hindsight. And I mean, every time they’re like, thank God we didn’t get that house or that kind of thing. So now let’s move on to patients with your clients, because I think one way to have more patience with yourself, with your career and with your market is having patients with your clients. So Amy, talk a little bit about some tips on how to be more patient with your clients, because I hear it. So often agents get frustrated with your client, with their clients and I’m like, you, you need to be on their team. Like, you know? Yeah. So this is really crucial. Well, I think one really important part of, of being patient with your clients is having a mentor, someone that you can go to when you do find roadblocks where, you know, maybe your, your client and, you know, stuck on, let’s say a certain location, you know, and you know, like if they made it over a little bit, maybe they could, you know, find the house that they want or unwillingness to like look at the financials or, you know, you know, I could name a bunch of different things that might happen, you know, but really talking to having a mentor, someone who has probably been there before and can help you and guide you, you don’t have that. I would suggest trying to find it in your office or someone that you would want to emulate or really, you know, admire their career. I do think in this industry, we don’t share enough information with each other. And I know that I would have certainly appreciated it in my younger years. You know, might’ve helped some of those like embarrassing times that I had. I think other things too is sometimes your clients just want to vent and just let them vent. You know, it is tough. I would be frustrated if I had to, I’ve never had to make five offers on a house. Thank God. You know, as an agent, I, I just haven’t, I wouldn’t, I own property, but I’ve, I’ve not had to go through that process. And I can imagine it’s really frustrating. Put yourself in their shoes at free time, you know? And, and don’t take it personally. Like they’re not angry at you. They’re frustrated. Yeah. One big tip I always share with our students is creating frameworks for your clients. So one framework, for example, that helps our clients is what I call the three bucket strategy and explaining to your clients that you really have like three, and there’s only three things you can talk about, or you can adjust to find your house. It’s either, you know, the location, what I call the house criteria, meaning, you know, bedrooms, baths, condo, single family townhouse, like what does it look like? Describe it so I can paint a picture. And then the third is your budget. And so whenever I get impatient with a client, I always bring myself back to the three buckets and I bring them back to the three buckets. And I say, we’re out of alignment. You, all you have to do is adjust one of these three things and you should only adjust one of them at a time. And so I, I, you know, maybe it’s budget. And right now in this high, you know, interest rates have increased and a lot of people are starting to get worried, right? You might need to adjust the budget, but the budget doesn’t always mean going up or down, it can mean finding the right loan program. It could mean, you know, doing an arm these days. If you have clients who are buying short term homes, it could mean being willing to borrow from a 401k. If an appraisal gap is an issue. Right. And so really, really being willing to think beyond how many bedrooms, baths, what neighborhood and what, like how much you want to pay. Like, yeah. We’re not order takers. We are like, I always like, we’re like eight real estate therapists. Right? So it’s like really understanding what’s behind all that. And knowing that like with your clients, sometimes it takes a while to move a ship. Sometimes it takes a while to like, turn the ship around, you know, Amy and I were just talking before we started recording about clients that are taking a slow time, like getting approved and really like the financing piece. And, you know, we’re like, okay, then they can’t move on a house. Right. Like, and just letting them like, figure that out, but that, and making sure and reiterating that that is their next step in the process that like, this is a great house. Yes. But you have to talk to your lender. And when they talk to their lender, right. It’s about looking at different scenarios, different loan programs, different like financing options so that they can create a winning offer financially. Even if it’s not cut and dry 20% down, you know, I’ve saved for it. Those kinds of things. Aren’t happy. Like they don’t create winning offers anymore. You have to go a layer deeper and it takes time. Right? Yeah. I love the three buckets. I love, I love that one. And I use it all the time when, when we’re out of alignment or, you know, and a big thing that another thing that you had taught in The Agent Grad score early on, don’t tell someone, show them, you know, so a lot of times I’ll have clients. Well, I don’t think this house is worth X amount. Well, let’s see. No, let’s see. And that requires me to go back and, you know, pull the data and then talk through the data with them. You know, and some clients are a lot more, you know, detailed they’ll say, well, why does this house went for this cause this, and it was a street over. And, you know, I have to look at every little thing and go, well, that has a bigger backyard. This has a basement with a, you know, full, you know, apartment. This one does not, you know, really knowing your market, really getting down to the nitty-gritty. And I do think that’s the part that people have harder time with because you have to have the patience to go through all those listings. So look at it, all of those things to know exactly where on the map something is. I mean, these are like details that people want to know. You know, why is this house this amount? And one street over it’s… that couldn’t be a school district, you know, could be a lot of things. They are looking to me to tell them that information, you know? And sometimes I give them the information when I think the house is worth the value and they still say, it’s not worth it. I can literally show them the value. And so at that point, you know, all I can do is, is this, you know, say, okay, you know, if that is your belief and my belief is the value is X. If you’ve seen the evidence and you don’t believe that, that’s fine. Yeah. We’ll move on. Yeah. And sometimes they’ll go, oh, that’s really reassuring. Great. I want to move forward. I feel comfortable. You never know what the outcome is going to be with the client. You really just don’t really. And so you have to just give the information, provide, answer all the questions. And that’s the tough part of this market. But I think a lot of agents are really whether you’re experienced or new or wherever you are in your career. This is a market that is not a, let’s go out and buy a house tomorrow. Now we’re done. This is a long process, you know, like buckle in, you’re on this rollercoaster together. You know, hope, hopefully you like the person or you’re going to be in an elevator for a while or whatever analogy you might have because this isn’t going to be, you know, thanks for shopping. Have a nice day relationship. You know, not that they ever pretty perfectly to be perfectly honest. It never home shopping should never be that way. And again, I think patience with your clients, again, looking at your expectations, why are we expecting to show three houses, right. One offer and, and have a settlement like, right. That’s not my expectation. Therefore, I don’t get frustrated when that doesn’t happen. And I think patients not only with your clients, but helping your clients have patients as well, and you have to be the voice of reason and the voice of confidence. Like so often just this week I had a conversation with a client and I said, are you, do you really like this house? Or you just scare, there’s not going to be another house because the house didn’t make any sense. And so again, instilling, and I was like, you just started looking, you’ve got, you don’t have to be anywhere for two years because your kids aren’t starting school. You’ve told me that you have two years to find a house. So why are you trying to shove into this, this one? That’s the first one. Right? Well, yeah. And it’s kind of, like you said, it’s just like back to the doctor analogy. How many times have I gone to the doctor with my solution? Here’s the solution doctor? I think this is the problem. And then the doctor has to be the voice of reason. And I’m like, oh, that’s right. They know who’s they studied this. They went to school, they’ve done X this X amount of time, you know? And it’s the same thing, you know, do I read all kinds of stuff about what my ailment might be? Just like, they read all kinds of stuff online and talk to friends and family just like they do, you know? But at the end of the day, and I mean, how many times have you gone to the doctor and you walk out, you’re like, Ooh, I’m going to live. All right. Yes. Yesterday in fact. Right. Cause I was like, I think it’s this and that. And she goes, well, we got to take our panels. We got to look call in two weeks and I want you to come in in a month and now you know, this isn’t going to start working for eight weeks. Then it’s like, okay. But then in the long run, like my health, it’s like losing weight. Right. It’s like, I sure expect to go to the gym twice a month and lose weight or be healthy. But that is a, that is an unfair expectation. You have to do it every day. And then the minute you take two years off, because it’s been COVID you start having health problems. And I’m like, oh no, I haven’t worked out for two years. That’s right. Okay. Get back on that horse. So listen, have patience with yourself, have patience building your career, have patience with the markets and have patience with your clients and also instill patience in your clients. Yeah. And I feel like this is where we should just like cue the guns and roses the whistle. Right. We all just need a little patience. I promise you patience, but it’s not just like, it’s not just like chill out. Do nothing patients. That’s not what we’re talking about here. What we’re talking about is like methodical guidance in this like Sherpa way that guide your clients without like fury, without rushing without, but it’s like, we are methodically stuffing into the right place and getting closer to our goals, but we’re doing it in a way that is confident and Patient not rushed and frustrated. And you know, it’s like turtle in the hair. Right. You were in the turtle, the turtle, and you’re going to still get to the finish line. And nine times out of 10, you’re going to beat all the hairs who have, you know, got tired and took a nap. Yeah. Well, and also like you were talking about the gym, I mean, think about the professionals that we hired to help us with that. And we come in and you know, I’m sure I’m sure when you, you know, going through your analysis and they’re like, okay, well let’s, they’re starting to ask you questions. You’re like, aren’t you in your mind? She’s like, no, you just have to give me skinny. Like, let’s do this. Like, I don’t want to answer, you know? And like, well, what are your goals be skinny. Or, you know, he’s going to get a healthy, like, okay. You know, duh, what do you think my goals are? You know? And I think that probably, you know, I’m sure they’re looking at us like, okay, this is going to be six months settled down. You know, it’s going to be a year. You know, meanwhile, I’m like, okay, what do you want me to do? Cardio, do you want me to do right now? It’s like, let’s do your BMI. Do we have to do that? Right. You know, and I know with me, I’m uncomfortable during it. You know, I don’t really like it, but it’s the same thing we do with our clients. Like they have to sit down and get a baseline for where they are so we can help them. Right. But, you know, so I try to think about things that make me feel awkward, like going to the gym and they do the whole, you know, intake thing. And you’re just like, oh no, cause you’ve got to see it first. And then he’s, but you’ve got to trust that person. And have you ever been to anyone at a gym or any kind of fitness trainer? Who’s like, so we’re going to get you this in about a month. No, they’re like, settle down. This is going to be a while. You know, you can’t just eat one day of good food and come to the gym and we’re like, oh, it’s all gonna work out. You know? And I’m sure they know that, you know, and they try to instill that in this and think about how many people walk away. Like they give up halfway through. It’s not the gym, it’s not the trainer’s fault. And then now they know that everybody wants it and they want it now. And that’s why I do with my trainers. I really do try to find people who are very, I don’t like really amped up trainers. I try to find various study, you know, reasonable people who are just like, okay, well now we’re going to do some weights today. And you’re like, okay. You know, cause I need that person to slow me down. Cause I’m like, you know, I’ll just, you know, I’ll be like, I’m going to be, I’m going to do all this in a week and it’ll be fine. Yeah. It helps me. And that’s who we have to be for our clients. We have to be at voice, the steady voice of reason, getting us, getting everybody closer to their goals. Even if it takes a little longer, even if it’s not, you know how it, they thought it might be when they woke up one day and they said, I want to buy a house. Right. So that is our goal. That is our goal. And so when I, when we say patients, I think sometimes people interpret the word patients with passively. And we’re not saying that at all, patience requires hard work. It requires being, you know, the guiding professional, the steady person, the person showing up with the data, the person showing up with the framework, the person who’s done their own mindset work. So they’re not getting harried and in a, in a difficult negotiation, right. Patience actually takes a lot of hard work. And so that’s what we’re trying to instill in you guys today. So I hope this has been helpful. Thank you Amy, for sharing your wisdom. I think you’re such a good example of patience and perseverance and that steadiness for yourself for your career and navigating this market and your clients. And I know they thank you for that. And I thank you for being here and sharing this with everybody on the podcast. Thank you. Thank you for listening to this episode of Confessions of a Top Producing Real Estate Agent. We purposely keep those podcasts sponsor and commercial-free. So we can focus solely on providing real estate agents with the content that will help them grow their real estate business. And how about like, they love outside but business too, but we need your help to get this podcast in the hands of other real estate agents. So please, if you liked this episode, leave a review on iTunes or wherever you’re listening, and also tell your agent friends to listen in to thank you so much for supporting the show for being a listener and supporting other agents along your way to success. That’s what this is all about. See you next time. On another episode of Confessions of a Top Producing Real Estate Agent. And until then come hang with me over at We’ll see you there.

too good to miss

Never miss an episode!

No more FOMO.  Never miss a thing and always be in the know.  Get every episode delivered right to your inbox.   


free resource for that

you're a...


you're ready for...

$100K+ a year

it's time for...

7 figure years

Love what you're hearing on the podcast? 
It's only the tip of the iceberg.   
Learn how we can help you reach your goals even faster.